Oh fuck, sure I do..but that's beside the point. I don't know if you've done this rodeo before but from someone blonde wants flirt dumb enough to have done it twice be careful. You know one of the WORST things that happened after my first divorce was actually believing what I was told by good intentioned people. After the shock and awe of 'holy fuck I'm getting divorced' I questioned if anyone would really want me..now semi-thankfully the answer was yes. Oh I found out that I actually had something some women wanted I let 'em sell me that I really wasn't that bad, life got good and I moved on until that shit buried underneath my Okness surfaced up. I was so thankful that I didn't need to fear being alone that I never took the opportunity to learn HOW I still FEARED it, I just knew I didn't HAVE to do it..I could face it by AVOIDING it..ie: find someone new. That wasn't the best method for me..and from my experience a very common mistake. The same shit was still there waiting to bite me in the ass. I think you best described it in your own post "because the to make things work can be overpowering and your sense of what needs to happen fades". The to think that you are past this bullshit and have really healed, fixed YOUR shit fades when we think..hey, THESE people think I'm OK..I must be. Turn over that rock where you wouldn't take action early on..until this blew up. Really dig at why and why you would ignore all that crap and either not end it when it needed to end..or face your partner and openly work on the issues knowing addressing it might end the relationshit. That doesn't happen in a day..a week..a month, it takes time to REALLY repair and/or accept as something you and need to be aware of. Go out, have a ball and howl at the..but keep those feet planted firmly on the ground until you are GOOD, and I mean GOOD living on your own. Hey..It's my little tidbit of unsolicited and probably unwanted advice..I am BRILLIANT in my own mind..well, online anyway.